The intersection of practical knowledge and life experience is the perfect cradle for resilience.
A FRANCIS OFM
Aging for most of us is not a 'love-at-the- first-sight' reality. We abhor, the thought of this inescapable and the irreversible biological process. Who on earth likes to appear ‘out of shape’ and ‘out of control’ of their bodies?'
The Malleability of Personality
Gosh, no, it isn’t easy to reconcile with the terrifying aberrations which our body and psyche involuntarily adapt to - the wobbling
of feet, losing of teeth, greying of the hair, wrinkling of the skin, fading of memories, vision and sight, and an array of countless other dwindling realities of life!
Considering these anatomical anomalies and the functional aberrations that accompany the package of aging, and its many closest kith and kin like dementia, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, depression, etc., our loathing could be candidly justifiable.
We age despite our dislike. This is the catastrophic common lot of humanity! Humans have been attempting to do away with this fundamental law of life from time immemorial, but have not succeeded yet. ‘Time machines’ still continue to be a hypothetical device and exist only in the realm of imagination – in books and in movies!
In my youthfulness, the topic of aging never knocked at the threshold of my mind. Not that I deliberately eluded paying attention to it, but simply because it was not a timely topic deserved to be reflected upon. Call it a milestone or a hump birthday that marks the downhill journey of my life, I turned 50, this year, and I am beginning to feel the grip of it.
Nostalgia Beyond the Slowing Down of Life
With hand on my heart I declare, 'I abhor aging!' I abhor all of the disfigurations and aberrations associated with it, and the legion of its kith and kin! Is that it?
No, ironically there is something remarkably more to it. That is, in the same breath of my loathing for aging, I have a nostalgic feeling
on the very imagination of it. I don’t think it is merely an illusory infatuation, but a personal experience distilled from myriads of tangible first-handed encounters I’ve had with the old folks around me. That is, there are many incredible blessings of life that visit us only in the evening of our life, in the ripe old age. Interestingly, this is a befitting highlight of the book, ‘Successful Aging’, a New York Times bestseller written by the renowned neuroscientist, Daniel J. Levitin.
Blessings of the Old Age
Thinking of the unique blessings of the
old age, what runs through my mind is the unconditional love and affection bestowed on me by my grandpa of happy memories. He was incredibly nonjudgmental, loving and so full of fun. I still cherish hanging out with him - to movies, to the beach, to festivals, to church, to Balan’s barbershop, to Gopi’s teashop and to every nook and corner that my parents could never have imagined.
Neuroscience approves that older people show higher levels of positive emotions, and love being the greatest of them. No wonder, many people say, of course figuratively, ‘We should have had grandparents, prior to parents.’
The embeddedness of patience and contentment is a rare gift that old folks disseminate around them. As children, we could interrupt grandma Lekshmi any time during her routine renditions of stories and mantras. She was as cool as a cucumber. Her ‘Zen mindset’ that lost no calm, penetrated the naughtiness of our questions, without loosing her innate infectious grin, grace and graciousness.
Patience is the other name for contentment. When we are content, we are not impatient, neither to the demeanour of the individual nor to their questions, no matter how naughty they are!
There is the highly prized eternal wisdom of the old age, which Levitin compares with King Solomon, the archetype of such wisdom in the Bible. Modern psychology identifies it as the ‘interpersonal’ or ‘social intelligence’. Unlike the binary quick-fix charades of the logical intelligence which the youth and the middle aged are instinctually adept with, the old-age adorns us with the incredible trove of practical knowledge seasoned with awesome life experience!
The intersection of practical knowledge and life experience is the perfect cradle for resilience, a significant psychological quality for adaptation and self-regulation in the
midst of a stressful situation. This is one of the reasons why old folks display high levels of emotional regulation, and seldom panic to any ill-happening in their surroundings. From the treasure of their time-tested wisdom, they have the experience of the stoic maxim, ‘This too shall pass!’
What Is Aging?
My friend, grandpa Fred, lived to a ripe old
age. In the last few weeks before his death, I was awestruck to realize that he was fearless about dying. I was also startled looking at the numerous wrinkles on his face and the body.
At some point during my silent but respectful observation of him, it flashed through me that his wrinkles were not mere signs of his frailty
or his impending death, but sacred signs of the great maturation that life had blessed him with.
So, what is aging? Is it really a process towards dying or a process towards maturing from inside? There is a caveat, though; these blessings are acquired by those who gracefully age, - the ones who are willing to tap into the resources for healthy living from their families and communities, coupled with the meaningful utilization of the cutting-edge research that neuroscience, medicine, psychology and spirituality offer us. Never grow tired of aging (gracefully)!
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